One of the great things about being a “D” personality, expressing anger and frustration comes easy to me. Unfortunately, it is also hard for others, who aren’t “D’s,” to understand me when I’m having a great discussion. When I feel I’m having a good talk, I can get excited, which often comes across as a little… bombastic?
Anyway, I had the thought the other day that one of the reasons I get frustrated with my kids, with the team I work with, and maybe with people in general, is that I see so much potential in them, that they themselves don’t, won’t, or can’t see. That frustration often expresses itself as anger, which makes those at the other end think I’m mad at them, when really it is meant as a plea to get better, to improve.
I don’t want to make it sound like I get mad because I care- that sounds like a crazy abuser attitude about things. But I do want people, including myself, to be their best selves.
I thought about a talk given to BYU students many years ago by Brad Wilcox, and then the subsequent book he wrote. In it, he talks about what the final judgement would be like. Many people think of the final judgement as Jesus or God throwing the wicked out of Their presence. Brad Wilcox instead believes, and I think is accurate, that Jesus and Heavenly Father will be pleading, begging even, for the sinner to repent and come into Heaven. Instead of the sinner begging to get in, and Jesus saying, “nope, sorry, not quite good enough,” He will be trying to get those that don’t want Heaven to change their minds, and to try to get them to come back.
I tend to think this way- and since each of us communicates in our own particular way, I can see Jesus trying to help me to repent, maybe the way I am trying to help others to change. After all, repenting means to turn, or to change. I guess what I’m trying to say, is, that if I see someone getting frustrated and pleading with me because i just won’t see what I need to change (unless it’s completely against the code I’ve set for myself), then maybe I should pay attention, and not be insulted or offended by it, but look at it as it is- an expression of care, and ultimately, of love.